Put the Dick Away!

South Africa is known as the Rape Capital of the World, or so they say in the news, and to help prevent this they have made an anti-rape device called Rapex.

What is it? It's a female condom with sharp fucking teeth inside. Apparently it works like those spikes in some parking garage's... if you go in there's no problem, but once you pass then don't even think of backing out, because your tires will go flat... same idea on the Rapex, but this looks like it'll hurt some more...

I have to wonder, how many husbands and boyfriends will be taken to the hospital with their ding-dongs bleeding because the woman forgot she had it on.

From now on, I suggest that men start using the Rapex Test and always insert two fingers prior to penile penetration. Explaining to your doctor why you have a condom with teeth attached to your fingers might be embarrassing, but consider the alternative.

Note: If you are a rapist, please ignore the advice I’ve just given and follow this advice instead. Turn yourself in to the police if you have raped a woman, or make an appointment with a psychologist first thing tomorrow morning if you’ve been thinking about doing it, you sick fuck.

Rapex is scheduled to receive final approval next month and will be mass produced in China.

Junk food thats good for us

NO! I did not investigate this personally because my scientists are on strike... come bullcrap about bad dental plan and inhuman facilities... don't really know why they complain, they get a roof! well, sort of... Anyway, on to the junk food!

Alcohol

Why you think it's bad: It has little nutritional value and is the reason we need the term "beer belly."

Why it's not: In a study of more than 18,000 men, Harvard scientists discovered that those who had an average of two drinks every day, 5 to 7 days a week, had the lowest risk of heart attack. And researchers at the University of Buffalo found that men who consume that same daily amount have lower levels of abdominal fat than those who drink only once or twice every 2 weeks but down more than four drinks each time.

Drink this: Pinot noir. It contains more disease-fighting antioxidants than any other type of alcoholic beverage. Look for a Santa Barbara County pinot noir that's a 2002 to 2004 vintage; those are generally recognized as the top wine-producing years for this finicky grape. We like the 2003 Foley, best in show at the San Francisco International Wine Festival (foleywines.com).

Beef Jerky

Why you think it's bad: It's unhealthy meat that's loaded with preservatives.

Why it's not: Beef jerky is high in protein and doesn't raise your level of insulin—a hormone that signals your body to store fat. That makes it an ideal between-meals snack, especially when you're trying to lose weight. And while some beef-jerky brands are packed with high-sodium ingredients, such as MSG and sodium nitrate, chemical-free products are available. If you have high blood pressure, check the label for brands that are made from all-natural ingredients, which reduce the total sodium content.

Eat this: Gourmet Natural Beef Jerky (available at americangrassfedbeef.com). It has no preservatives and is made from lean, grass-fed beef. Research shows that, unlike grain-fed products, grass-fed beef contains the same healthy omega-3 fats found in fish.

Chocolate Bars

Why you think they're bad: They're high in both sugar and fat.

Why they're not: Cocoa is rich in flavonoids—the same heart-healthy compounds found in red wine and green tea. Its most potent form is dark chocolate. In a recent study, Greek researchers found that consuming dark chocolate containing 100 milligrams (mg) of flavonoids relaxes your blood vessels, improving bloodflow to your heart. What about the fat? It's mostly stearic and oleic acids.

Eat this: CocoaVia chocolate bars. Each 100-calorie bar is guaranteed to contain 100 mg flavonoids. As an added benefit, the chocolate has been beefed up with phytosterols, compounds that have been shown to help reduce cholesterol. Find the bars at many Wal-Mart stores, or online at cocoavia.com.

source : men's health website

Balloon Boy Song

I bet you heard the case, a few days ago, of Falcon Heene, the kid who apparently got into a helium balloon and flew away, and then they found out he was hiding back at home? The strange case took another twist Sunday when a Colorado sheriff said the boy's parents had staged the runaway balloon saga as a publicity stunt to score a reality television show.

Well I found this video made to "honor" the Heene folks.

4WD Whale Penis...

Yes! It is here!! A russian $1.6 million USD, fully armored, whale penis leather interior enhanced SUV! Yes! WHALE PENIS!

Developed by RussoBaltique, a company that built armored vehicles for Vladimir Lenin and Leon Trosky... what? People please, get some culture!! Anyway... On its official website, the company says the whale-penis leather is the same as that used by Greek shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis on the yacht Christina O.

The bulletproof windows are gold-plated, the exhaust is made of tungsten, the gauges are encrusted with diamonds and rubies and the exterior has a Kevlar coating. The car also comes with three bottles of the world’s most expensive Vodka, RussoBaltique, although the website does warn prospective buyers not to drink and drive.

The vehicle is being specially prepared for the ultra-exclusive Top Marques luxury motor show in Monaco next year.

For those wondering just how may whales may need to be harvested to outfit the special edition, the answer is not many. The penis of the Blue Whale, for example, can grow up to 2.4 metres.



Thanks for reading.





source : the sidney morning herald

Classic Novel meets Zombie Horror

This is a combination of Jane Austen's classic novel (Pride and Prejudice), using the original text, reworked and mixed with some great zombie violence.

Why you should read it? Besides being a hilarious combination of both Austen's novel and zombie horror, the book is climbing the bestseller charts. Like it or hate it, people are definitely reading it. Plus, the movie rights have already been sold.

More jail time rejected.

Inmates wanted to stay more time in jail, but Rockingham County said "no", why? Well they asked to stay inside until the economy got better... smart men, huh?
Al Wright (that's his name, don't laugh) has seen inmates act up to avoid being released during the harsh New Hampshire winters, but it was only recently the 28-year he got two letters from individuals politely requesting an extended stay behind bars.

"My take on it is the economy is dumping so far that jail isn't looking as bad," Wright said. "It's not a homeless shelter. I can only hold people on legal orders from the court".

Wright said the 350 inmates at Rockingham County jail get a roof over their head, three meals a day and a clean place to stay while they are prepared for reintroduction into society.
He said the above amenities in jail are basic, but are probably viewed as a better alternative to living on the streets, especially during winter.



Thanks for reading.




source : fosters.com

She got courtsided!

A woman is facing court for driving through a puddle of water and splashing a group of kids at the bus stop. But the people that accused her are not the kids or other driver, they are actually pussy youtube viewers who couldn't just LOL and search for another video. Now she is facing a £2,500 fine for doing this awesome video!